10 Things You Won’t Regret in Life

I am so grateful for you guys, the people who read this little blog. You indulge my compulsion to string words together.  You read the random thoughts I might otherwise keep to myself.  And I think it’s really, really cool that you do that. So I thought I’d give you a little gift. On my journey so far, I have found 10 practices that I believe are inherently good ideas.  I hope to add to my list as I continue on in life, but I think it already includes some pretty useful tidbits.  For what it’s worth, here you go.

10 Things You Will Never Regret:

(Caveat:  Never say never, right?  Even though I just did. There is always an exception to the rule. For example, should you happen to be hit by a bus while engaging in one of the activities listed below, you would likely experience some regret.  But these are my basic tenets, and I think they are generally good ones.)

1. Stop to appreciate the sunrise and sunset.

I stole this one from my husband (much like I stole his high school baseball sweatshirt).  Dan has made a habit of being grateful for each sunrise and sunset since long before I met him.  Pausing to practice gratitude, whether for the view or for your spouse or for your life overall, is a good idea.  Folks who know about these things say gratitude is good for your health. And the sky conveniently provides us with a reminder to slow down and reflect on this twice each day.

2. Turn down the wrong opportunity.

It’s okay to say no.  Yes, many less-than-desirable offers are actually stepping stones to the place you want to be.  And sometimes you need to try something to know it isn’t what you want.  But some paths are just plain wrong for you.  Don’t take the first thing that comes your way, just because someone else thinks you should, or because it sounds impressive, or because you are scared.  Saying yes to one thing means saying no to something else.  And that “something else” might be the opportunity you have been looking for.  I’m NOT saying you should sit on your butt waiting for the right thing to fall in your lap.  It won’t.  You need to hustle and get out there and work hard.  But you don’t need to settle.

3.  Read your children one more book.  And then another.

Do you ever look at old photos of your kids and kinda want to cry?  Not because you want those babies back. Not exactly.  My kids are awesome as they are now, and they are turning into cooler humans by the day. I don’t really want the baby years back.  It’s all the days in between that I mourn.  All those lost days when they were crabby, or I was crabby.  The days when I could’ve taken them to the children’s museum one more time.  Or just read them one more book.  My advice to new mamas is to always, always, always read them one more book.  You’ll still want to cry when you look at the baby photos, but your tears may be fewer.

4. Given the option, always sit at the bar.

The most interesting people sit at the bar, not at the booth in the corner.  The bar is where you hear the funniest jokes, where life-changing agreements are scrawled on napkins, where the people-watching is best. You might also meet a celebrity, if you and your friends happen to eat lunch at the bar. (Or at least meet someone that you think was maybe-probably a celebrity, and then muse on it for years afterwards with your friends.) Trust me.  Bar trumps table.  Every time.

5.  Visit your family.

This isn’t always easy.  It’s not always convenient.  It may entail a long car ride.  It may cause some stress.  But it’s usually worthwhile, and it’s always better than regretting the visit you didn’t make.  Just go.

6.  Be kind.

There is a little bit of magic in kindness.  Being kind doesn’t cost a thing, but its benefits are priceless.  It truly takes so little to make someone feel special.  (1) Smile.  (2) Ask questions about a person and really listen to their answers. And…that’s pretty much it.  Here’s an old story for you: Once upon a time, my friends and I met a possibly famous person while sitting at a bar.  Remember how I told you about that (two paragraphs ago)?  Well, to this day, we can’t confirm if the person we met was the person we suspected it to be.  We enjoyed their company too much to ruin it by asking.  And we have realized that it doesn’t really matter.

The saying is true. What was most important about this individual was that they were unbelievably kind, magically kind, not that they were famous. We each came away from the luncheon encounter feeling special. And that had everything to do with a nice person taking an active interest in us, and nothing to do with their status or identity. (Plus, we have totally convinced ourselves we met a rock star, anyway.)

7.  Spend time with your friends.

Hang out with your friends as much as you can.  Life will get in the way.  And your true friends will understand and still be there when you manage to come up for air.  But do your best to try.  Even when your job is nuts.  Even when your kids are little.  That’s when you need your friends the most.  Being with friends is a great way to practice kindness and gather kindness. If anyone is bound to be kind to you, it’s your friends, right? Of course, they may also heckle and harass you.  Because that’s friendship, too. 🙂  Also, seeing that your partner is (hopefully) your best friend, this means you should make time for date night. Dan and I are pretty good at this one.  We have noticed that when we make an effort to spend quality time together, everything in our life runs more smoothly.  Plus, it’s just plain fun.

8.  Spend time alone.

Don’t be afraid to spend chunks of time alone.  If you are an introvert, you will relish this and gain energy from doing so. If you are an extrovert, you will hate every moment and feel uncomfortable.  But, either way, you will come away with a sharper focus and renewed purpose.

9.  Listen to your gut.

Your gut doesn’t steer you wrong. I learned this one from my own mistakes. I can count several pivotal points in life where I ignored the feeling in my gut and lived to regret it.  If something doesn’t feel right, it isn’t.  If someone seems like a slime ball, it’s because they are.  Don’t be afraid to walk away without a “valid” reason. Your gut is enough.

10.  Invest in yourself.

This is a tough one, especially for folks in certain seasons of life.  When you are trying to do all of the things for all of the people, spending time or money on yourself can seem ludicrous.  Nonetheless, I believe this is the investment with the biggest return. You truly do need to give to yourself so that you can better give to others.  Whether you carve out time to go running or you invest in some educational books, I promise you it will be worth it.

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That’s what I’ve got for you so far.  How about you guys? Do you have any tried-and-true life principles?