Hey, Jessica. Yeah, you – the one without the stretch marks and crow’s feet. You are in for one wild ride.
First off, you don’t know what tired is. That’s good. You don’t need to know…yet. So sleep late and long and often and without apology. Sleep will become hard to come by soon enough. Don’t worry, you will sleep again after becoming a mama. (Not for as long nor nearly as well as when you had no small humans to tend, but you will sleep.)
You don’t know what love is yet, either. You think you love your friends, your family, your husband, do ya? Well, just wait. Once you become a mom, you will love those babies in a whole different and more powerful way than you love anyone right now. Come to think of it, you will also come to love your hubby in a whole different and more powerful way than you do now.
Speaking of your hubby, go on dates with him as much as possible. Travel together as much as you can. Create a whole bunch of lovely memories that you can use to remind yourself of how much you love each other when it’s 2 am and the baby is crying again and you would just as soon punch your spouse in the face as get up to change another diaper.
Fear not, dear one, this parenting thing gets sooo much easier. You may even think you have it all figured out when your toddler crawls up on your lap and whispers: “I wuv you, mumma.” You will realize you were dead wrong and you are actually a clueless fool as soon as you take said toddler on an airplane. Then you’ll think you have it figured out again when you manage a tantrum-free Target run. Spoiler alert: You won’t have it figured out. You never will. But you are still the best person for this job. Just listen to your instincts.
Also, it’s okay to ask for help. When in doubt, just call your mom. But please don’t call the pediatrician when you accidentally nip your daughter’s finger while trimming her teeny baby nails and she starts to bleed and you freak out like the rookie mom you are. It’ll be okay. Really. Really really.
When making your weekly “to do” list, make sure to include snuggling. I know you. Heck, I am you. You love to get things done and cross them off your list. So you better put snuggling on there, because it is the most important thing you can possibly do.
Except for buying baby wipes. It’s very important to buy wipes. Then buy some more. Trust me.
If you don’t lay down the law right away, your son won’t sleep in his own bed until he’s a teenager…and that’s okay.
Yes, it’s normal – whatever “it” may be. It’s normal to breastfeed. It’s normal to not. It’s normal to co-sleep, and it’s normal to let them cry it out. It’s normal to potty train at 18 months, just like it’s normal to potty train at 3 years old. It’s normal to put your cell phone in the freezer and then search for it frantically for 36 minutes. Even several times a day. It’s even normal if it feels like your heart is straining to break out of your chest, just to be closer to these little beings it loves so much. It’s all normal.
Everyone will give you lots of unsolicited advice. As a general rule, ignore them. They aren’t you/me. But everyone will also tell you that it goes too fast, that these kids grow up in the blink of an eye. On that, everyone is right. Damn them.
Your kids will go from this…
to this…
in 2 seconds flat. I shudder to think what changes the next 2 seconds will bring. All I can tell you, and me, is to enjoy the ride.
Love, Me/You
P.S. Buy more wipes.