The Beautiful Lull

It’s back-to-school day here in Wisconsin. But “back to school” means very different things in different stages of mom-ing.

For instance, baby mommies have few coherent thoughts on the subject … and few coherent thoughts generally, for that matter.  To them, school is a far-off, fuzzy concept. “School is starting?  What is this ‘school’ of which you speak?  What is sleep? What day is it? Can you pass that burp cloth?  Yes, I know it has spit-up on it.  So does my shirt.  And my face.  And my hair. What were you saying?” 

Then there are the preschool or kindergarten moms. The moms sending their darling babies off for the first time to test their tiny wings. Today will be hard for these moms.  There will be many tears and much clutching of legs.  By all involved.  At the same time, these moms will soon discover that the short break from tantrums and sticky hands is not entirely unwelcome. These moms may even get to pee by themselves today.  

Next, we have the elementary moms.  This includes me.  I am firmly ensconced in elementary land with a 4th- and 2nd-grader. We have our routine and are in a groove of sorts.  It’s not that we have it all together, because we absolutely do not. But we are used to packing lunches and signing forms and driving carpool now. The kids are constantly changing, but it feels, for a bit, like a nice long stretch of relative status quo.  A beautiful lull. But it’s only a lull. A brief calm before the coming storm of adolescence. We can begin to sense it in the distance, and we grip our tiny humans a little tighter while we can. After all, the very title of this website reminds us that the years are short.  In the blink of an eye we will be on to the next stage.  Gone will be the hand-holding, fresh-cheeked children, and in their place will be…teenagers. 

That brings us to the middle school and high school moms. It’s the next frontier; it’s looming out there.  For those parents, there is still some carpool and form-signing, but there are other things to think about with the coming of a new school year.  Things I don’t even fully know about yet.  And really don’t want to. Social media. Mean girls. Car accidents. Heartaches of all kinds.  As the kids get older, the problems get bigger, and the stakes are higher.  

Then there is only the great abyss. The moms who are sending their children off to college or other post-graduation adventures. Out in the world. On their own! I have friends who are on the other side of the abyss.  So I see Facebook pictures of these moms helping to decorate dorm rooms. I see moving-day selfies of these moms with their children who were babies just last week; now these children have the nerve to smile and look comfortable in cities that are not their hometowns. I.Can’t.Even.

These friends who survived the letting go swear that parenting only gets better as the kids grow older. They assure me you just love the kids more and more. And I believe them. But that doesn’t change the fact that those kids will eventually leave.  So, for now, I am going to celebrate 4th and 2nd grade. I like it in elementary school. I like the beautiful lull. Happy back-to-school day!