Why I Broke Up With My Baby Book

A few weekends ago, I was cleaning out my daughter’s closet. (I know – how exciting.  But please read on anyway.)  

In a Rubbermaid bin, under a pile of ancient art projects, I found her baby book. I picked up the book, bracing myself for a flood of memories and emotions.  Her first steps, her first footprints, her first words. I gently opened it. And..the book was empty.  That’s right, Mom of the Year, right here. Cue the applause. 

In all fairness, she is my second child.  It’s pretty amazing I bought a baby book for her at all.  I mean, I certainly didn’t sterilize her binkies every time they hit the floor. I certainly didn’t make people sanitize their hands before they could come in the same room as her. I most certainly didn’t use a wipe warmer for her baby wipes. In any event, she is too old for me to start a baby book now.  She will be 7 years old in a few months, and though there are many milestones yet before us, I am simply not going to record the flavor of her first solid food at this point. (Was it sweet potato?  Peas?  We’ll never know.) 

The way I look at, traditional baby books set you up to fail.  I mean, forget to write down one doctor’s visit, and you might as well throw in the towel, because you will have to deal with a glaring blank page staring at you, with “Baby’s 6-month Checkup” written accusingly across the top.  And, when you are keeping a little person alive, not to mention laundering the clothes they just spit up all over – again – you don’t have time for that nonsense. I’m not a total slacker, though.  I use three super-flexible and forgiving tools to memorialize our kiddos’ growing-up years.  They are perfect because they can be started at any time and, other than the third tool, you can use them as much or as little as you like (or remember!).

1. When Ryan was born, I bought a blank journal and dedicated it to her.  My intent was to write a line or two every few days to capture whatever cute things she said or did, or just to tell her how much I love her.  I also bought a journal to dedicate to my son at the same time, even though he was already 2 1/2 years old.  (Whatever. I wrote some words in his actual baby book, so he’s not totally deprived.)

Almost 7 years later, I still have those journals.  I keep them on the bookcase in my office and pull them out from time to time to record my thoughts on big moments, such as the first day of kindergarten, or little moments, like subjecting the dog to a game of dress-up, but mostly to express my love for my kiddos. I don’t write in the journals every week, or even every month.  That’s the loveliest thing about these journals – there are no parameters.  I write what I want, when I want. But I have made enough entries that they form a sort of verbal scrapbook of their lives, a series of love notes and observations interspersed with well-meaning parental advice. 

My intent is to give each child their respective journal on some momentous occasion down the road – a graduation, wedding, birthday, etc.  I haven’t nailed down the particulars, probably because I don’t want to think about my babies getting that old.  But my hope is that the journals will serve as a kind of cozy blanket in their adult years.  Something to remind them that their mama loved them and was paying attention to them when they were growing up.

2.  The second thing we do is to record our children’s measurements on wooden oars.  When I was growing up, my parents periodically marked my height on the basement wall.  This worked out great. Until we moved.  

I don’t expect to ever move again, at least until Dan and I can’t manage our own Metamucil and heart meds. But I still like the idea of the kids’ recorded measurements forming a mobile keepsake.  You can find all sorts of cute wooden growth charts to use for the same purpose on Etsy, but I like the simplicity of our medium. We also live on the water, so it’s a little more apropos, I guess.  But I think the paddle is a cute idea regardless of where you live.

Actually, we just measured the kids this week.  For the first time in 13 months.  Oops. See – it’s all about the flexibility, folks.  

3. The third thing we implemented are the birthday binders.  The kids love these, which is great, because that means they usually remind me when it’s time to get them out!  

Sometime during their birthday month, we ask the birthday boy or girl 20 questions about their favorite things (friend, food, game, etc.). The questions are the same every year, and it’s fun to see how the answers evolve.

We started a binder for each child on their third birthday, because it seemed as they would be able to give us mostly non-jibberish answers by then.  But the binders could be started on any birthday, really.  

We don’t do any prompting, and we record their answers exactly as they are given, so previous assorted answers have included  “haki dogs” and the “bunka song.” (And because we also include a photo from each year, I can easily picture 4-year-old Baylor exclaiming that he wants to be a “mower guy” when he grows up.) 

After the birthday kid answers the questions, we read through their responses from all the previous years as a family. This is everyone’s favorite part.  The kids love seeing that their favorite book was once “Road Work Ahead,” or that blue was always their favorite color.  And it just makes them feel special. The key is to not let them go through the old answers until they have already completed this year’s set of questions, though, so as not to be influenced by the past!

I really like the binders, if only because, when the kids are 15 and not speaking to us, the binders will help us remember that those same children once proudly claimed Mom and Dad as their BFF.

**********************************************************************

So, maybe we failed when it came to the baby book.  Maybe I can’t tell you what Ryan ate for her first real meal.  But, I just randomly opened Ryan’s journal, and I can now tell you that Ryan once called zucchini bread “bikini bread.”  And that feels like a win.